Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
