I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
be right there i have to get my cape
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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