i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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