wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
ttyl tear gas
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
