Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
