brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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