he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am available for nakedness
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
