I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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