I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
