Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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