One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
