shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
