So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
