I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
