We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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