It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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