could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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