go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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