I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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