I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
