where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
