just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
