I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I will pee on everything he values.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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