So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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