i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
