So drunk its hurt
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize