I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
