I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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