I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
