It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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