Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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