it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
