After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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