Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
