Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize