I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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