I heard we made out
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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