My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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