if only i could text you this smell
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
