ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
