Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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