worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize