Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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