i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
