she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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