quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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