Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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