shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize