If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
