Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
