I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
