She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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