I wish my penis had an off switch
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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