i was born a porn star she said
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
