I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
