I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
