theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
